You can only love another as much as you love yourself. To love yourself, you must do what pleases you. This connects you to reality in the most important way. It builds, focuses, and strengthens your identity.
No activity is pure however. There are downsides in any activity. Too much of anything will cause the downsides to become overwhelming, even if they are small inconveniences at first.
Thus, reaching pure identity and pure love is impossible.