something simple

Sometimes things are hard. They just turn that way. Even if we work and do maintenance on them, they still seem to slip into something difficult. It’s hard to understand why. Even things that seem perfect can turn painful. It’s like a white sheet of paper that crumples as we paint it. It becomes far too difficult to paint what we had planned as it wrinkles, but we try anyway. We think that concentration and precision will smooth the paper out. Sometimes, no matter how much effort we put into it, the paper will crumple anyway. If the paper is a giant, grand canvas, there is so much hope and potential. Our greatest visions seem possible with such a large canvas, and we feel much excitement. But even a grand canvas can crumple. We see our dreams folding, and we work very hard to keep it from collapsing and destroying our hopes. With something so attractive, we must be careful, otherwise we feel like we’ve lost everything.

But we haven’t. This world has so many places to paint our life upon. Will they all eventually crumple? Maybe. Perhaps there are some that wont. I do not know. Regardless, there are always clean spaces for us to begin our work. If it becomes painful, set it free. This world has tools for expression everywhere. What a wonderful thing.



it’s gonna be a shit show.
punch and fuckin kick, cause it’s
gonna be a shit show.
and pigs and their dogs.
we’re gonna bleed
skinny fuckers swallow mud
and then get sick, puke.
i’m gettin real fucked up
at this shit show.


string theory

I imagine string theory expanding like soft balloons, where perspective quakes, and moments collapse before they rupture. Suddenly space slows, expands, and freefalls through orbits of light shavings. Neurons and stars merge and infinity appears burgundy.

Life spirals and accelerates in every direction with kindred light and matter.

Grasp and refuse to release.


I rectify my personality by chalking up impulses as well-placed logic piles.
I dream words are math tools of expression.
Cowardly enablers turn potential into pain.
These modes of experience are not controllable, yet they change.



Creativity comes in little sporadic pockets, which are far too temperamental. Input = dull desk drawer dangling downward. Output = spring forth onto my plywood tabletop and begin my march to liven this office space. Brown shards tossing and falling like snowflakes onto my hair creases.

Repetitious twitching scares the health officials where blood and semen are both powerful and viewed as too thick for anything other than disgusting and functional beyond our direct use. The blood does its work. We transfer it from working persons to failing persons. Doctors earn their possessions through the mastery of pointy steal tube insertions.

Fortify liquid with vitamins to fulfill the recommended intake of vitamins. It even tastes sugary. Where in this equation have we lost? Glucose and processed grains keep my neurotransmitters flickering quickly. I can now drive motor vehicles with much precision onto shallow curbs, in reverse, red line, and slowly in construction areas. They are risking their life to better America’s infrastructure. America is my birthplace. Odd really. Odd. odd. odD. I am american. amerICAN. I CAN. It is only up to me. Earn. Spend. Earn. Spend. I CAN.

better off

Sometimes I feel so much,
I wonder if others feel this much,
I want to tell them, but something stops me,
I worry it will be too much,
Why am I afraid to be human?
Are we all like this?
Sometimes I think yes.
Maybe I am better off this way.

Empower Vulnerability

Empower vulnerability.

Music is the energy, intensity, joy, easement, and despair that reflect the inner emotional state.

Music is magic.

We strategically select words to communicate our desired identity. I discover people in their sentences.

Is this written Nathan or authentic Nathan?

There is Party Nathan, Philosophical Nathan, Sex Nathan, Music Nathan, Exercise Nathan, Crazy Nathan, Stable Nathan, Giving Nathan, Selfish Nathan, Terrified Nathan, Numb Nathan, Passionate Nathan, Excited Nathan.

Rip away chains and let your ego flourish.

Empower vulnerability.