Anteaters make deals with other anteaters. They trade anthills for karma. Ants have angst. They’ve been played like poker. Now they charge. Scatter, scatter, scatter, scatter toward our shoes. We have less karma. I haven’t played enough poker. And, I wont eat them.



This is now turning into something much more constant. Something that can be read and followed without pauses of misunderstanding and boredom. This is now something that brings hope of clear meaning. It has never had clear meaning. Not even to myself. It has always been in the fringes of something tangible, yet jarring. This is a different exercise. I try to hold nothing back, but it's more difficult than assumed. I still have preferences that are based on calculation. Free myself like an animal. Like a dog running for a squirrel. The dog has no plan. Only reaction from instinct. Calculation constrains. It straps me down. It leaves me confused, empty and obsessing for a future that may never come. It confines me to endless thought until there is only regret. Now is good as any. Life doesn't begin at 30, 40, 50, or retirement. Now we dance.




lost faith

What happened when you lost your faith? Was it worth it?

My chin grazes along your hair.
And I breathe you.
I place your palm inside mind.
Fold my fingers to tangle yours.
Light lips along your neck.
Little reminders.
Is this the beginning or the end?

This justifies the risk. Nothing can stop me know, because, I don’t care anymore.



Then the credits ascend to the top. “ROLL THE CREDITS”. BlackDrop and WhiteText. The WhiteText smothers my glassy eyes. I read nothing but simple prepositions. To. As. From. Suddenly, I am reminded of worth. I remember __________.

The WhiteText continues. Turn your head and look at me. I sense your focus and refuse to look back. Are you intuitive to my thoughts/strategy/manipulation? Notice my ambivalence toward you. I NEED this. Pretending not to notice you. Are you tricked? Or patient with my ridiculousness? What are you feeling? Maybe nothing but a shallow tingle.
Forgotten within ten minutes.

I think for you and I.
I will.
I remember.
From where I came. Our past.
And forget why.
I have to sit as these credits roll.