glob of grayish paint
I had an epiphany. Logically I can justify an entirely material world, a material brain, hard determinism, and the importance of being objective. Maybe this is correct. However, intuitively, I don’t know if it’s that simple. I feel communication happening on a deeper level that perhaps cannot be faked or explained. Maybe we cannot effectively communicate clearly if we pretend to have an attitude we do not. Perhaps our intuition of liars and cheats is often correct and based on a feeling. Can I tell if authenticity is there with or without logical explanation (body language, tone, word choice)? My intuitiveness questions my previous deep beliefs. But would that truly comfort me? Because, I still cannot know. Why pretend? This is a new perspective. I wish to approach life from that side of the spectrum now. Why focus so heavily in defining ourselves? Does our need to define ourselves come from our need to gain a perceived power over our environment? Or am I falling into my logic trap? There are always more colors we can see, more values to understand, and more values to be discarded. Through time will I become numb to this? More pain? More pleasure? I will live 5 lives with my time here. Or will my life blend into a giant glob of grayish paint?
around 11:22 PM