thoughts while falling

as i slip over the smooth rocks, immediately it is far different. as i fall downward, from the cliff i slipped from, my thoughts becomes unexpected. i think about how annoyingly bright the sun is. too bright. oh well. what will happen to my dry cleaning? those shirts are too nice to be donated. it goes slowly. only right before the contact with the ground below, thoughts of my relationships surfaced. THIS was too much to bare. i now saw the purpose. the mundane thoughts.

10 more minutes

within this limited time you will awaken and see me here,
you will wonder how i remain-
awake for so long

our eye contact will be brief
followed by your request for my retreat

why do i do this?
why do i continue to battle this?

perhaps i'm different.
this doesn't seem difficult

it feels like gold. it feels like strained gold.

no worries. soon enough i'll be sleeping.
forever.

as you will.

perhaps that is my reason.
why waste such a preciousness?

i've wasted before.
mostly on others.
for myself, i cannot burden.
let my eyes stare forward.

10 more minutes

Until the years compound

Sometimes that inward regret relentlessly scratches
Concerning dreams
Dreams I’ve stumbled upon – seemingly essential
They remind me of my lateness

Maybe – Maybe - still not too late
Yet, I continue forward – restlessly unforced and numbed
Until the years compound

isn't it interesting to remember?
all of your previous connections. the ones you promised were forever, and now, they're non-existent. it seems likely to continue happening. at some point they were so dear. now i'm so different. how would it work? how has it changed?

new addiction

and paused upon the sight of bleak sky
shooting upward though millennia of reflected light
perhaps gazes upon myself
like red shooting into the veins of black
revolving at nausea

and breaking this pattern becomes my addiction
controllable. something underneath. and from my dark heart.
but it grows tired with time

and a new addiction is sought