the emotional offs and ons

Been noticing this pattern. Quantization dominates the small. The yes’ and nos. The ons and offs. This is where emotion takes precedence. This is where emotion takes control. As we zoom outward, to look upon more of the picture, fluidity and connection reveal themselves. We study this through the lens of logic as if we can make true conclusions about the quantized building blocks.

this pulse

this pulse, a capturing rubato. stares into my own glistening stare fragile, it continues and then, i recall reasons swarms of insecurities, along paths which block paths at continuum not even sleep rests this spell alas, with chest pronounced, i am here. a needed witness sleep tomorrow there is tomorrow a place for rest.

thoughts while falling

as i slip over the smooth rocks, immediately it is far different. as i fall downward, from the cliff i slipped from, my thoughts becomes unexpected. i think about how annoyingly bright the sun is. too bright. oh well. what will happen to my dry cleaning? those shirts are too nice to be donated. it goes slowly. only right before the contact with the ground below, thoughts of my relationships surfaced. THIS was too much to bare. i now saw the purpose. the mundane thoughts.

10 more minutes

within this limited time you will awaken and see me here,
you will wonder how i remain-
awake for so long

our eye contact will be brief
followed by your request for my retreat

why do i do this?
why do i continue to battle this?

perhaps i'm different.
this doesn't seem difficult

it feels like gold. it feels like strained gold.

no worries. soon enough i'll be sleeping.
forever.

as you will.

perhaps that is my reason.
why waste such a preciousness?

i've wasted before.
mostly on others.
for myself, i cannot burden.
let my eyes stare forward.

10 more minutes

Until the years compound

Sometimes that inward regret relentlessly scratches
Concerning dreams
Dreams I’ve stumbled upon – seemingly essential
They remind me of my lateness

Maybe – Maybe - still not too late
Yet, I continue forward – restlessly unforced and numbed
Until the years compound

isn't it interesting to remember?
all of your previous connections. the ones you promised were forever, and now, they're non-existent. it seems likely to continue happening. at some point they were so dear. now i'm so different. how would it work? how has it changed?

new addiction

and paused upon the sight of bleak sky
shooting upward though millennia of reflected light
perhaps gazes upon myself
like red shooting into the veins of black
revolving at nausea

and breaking this pattern becomes my addiction
controllable. something underneath. and from my dark heart.
but it grows tired with time

and a new addiction is sought

you will be forgotten. i'm sorry, but it's true.

i will forget you

no doubt

cause right now
(attractive)

is

time forgotten
(holding hands with slightness)

right now

right now

right now

right

perhaps

the universe constantly moves towards greater entropy,
except life.

is this free will?

the spirit of evolution

edging my wayward upheaval-
into a silky plain intrenched.
clear butterflies and even browner centipedes-
continue this upward momentum

until finally human.
all from below.

Mahaffeys are restless...

relentlessly restless

as we own memories, we bake rich bread

this means:

with gained experience, with diverse experience, our neurons form complex patterns.
perceived as profound... even objectively profound.
they create responses of inspiration and intrigue.

ultimately, they spread into our audience.
fruitful patterns.
patterns that permeate generations.

such a confusing age
placed between
points more easily definable.
how will I ever know
which way.

habits become stagnant.
still we repeat.

where to go from here?

different plants

the determinist says we are no different than plants
reflections of our situation
silly situations alike profound
no water today.

I am a plant
contentedly basking sunward
tomorrow is of no consequence
except my thirst
still no water.

fret nothing!
we are all linked in this universal consciousness-
thingy.

ask nothing more and rest
tomorrow will happen
with thrust?

fingerprints

moments build among each other
just as seas and rivers mate
and I realize something ever simple

never ignore that musical moment
that screams to your soul
with joy and playfulness

but also vastness

are these the fingerprints
of utopia?

and this primary dancer stretches her elongated torso and twists
only to lock eyes
premeditated intensity

why awake?

that spiraling retina pit reminds me of mystery
nor you or I have solved
it is the answer of how we perform greatness
its question is absent
perhaps from our abilities

would you want it any other way?

tomorrow

emergence falls from above

condenses from nothing

and consciousness is but a flicker

absolute and volatile

tomorrow we cease

and our dollars mean nothing

but for the children waiting

and repeated

The artist’s paradigm.
Creating the soul through the expression of it. My art determines me. I determine my art. Either infinity or nothing is at this core.

You can stand up for what’s right or what’s easier. It’s the struggle of my life.