yellow pill

urge to swallow
this small yellow pill
knowing i'll be so tired
and struggled 30 hours from now
but i'll live

i'll live more than you'll ever

just try to keep up
it's decided
hand me my glass

the emotional offs and ons

Been noticing this pattern. Quantization dominates the small. The yes’ and nos. The ons and offs. This is where emotion takes precedence. This is where emotion takes control. As we zoom outward, to look upon more of the picture, fluidity and connection reveal themselves. We study this through the lens of logic as if we can make true conclusions about the quantized building blocks.

this pulse

this pulse, a capturing rubato. stares into my own glistening stare fragile, it continues and then, i recall reasons swarms of insecurities, along paths which block paths at continuum not even sleep rests this spell alas, with chest pronounced, i am here. a needed witness sleep tomorrow there is tomorrow a place for rest.

thoughts while falling

as i slip over the smooth rocks, immediately it is far different. as i fall downward, from the cliff i slipped from, my thoughts becomes unexpected. i think about how annoyingly bright the sun is. too bright. oh well. what will happen to my dry cleaning? those shirts are too nice to be donated. it goes slowly. only right before the contact with the ground below, thoughts of my relationships surfaced. THIS was too much to bare. i now saw the purpose. the mundane thoughts.

10 more minutes

within this limited time you will awaken and see me here,
you will wonder how i remain-
awake for so long

our eye contact will be brief
followed by your request for my retreat

why do i do this?
why do i continue to battle this?

perhaps i'm different.
this doesn't seem difficult

it feels like gold. it feels like strained gold.

no worries. soon enough i'll be sleeping.
forever.

as you will.

perhaps that is my reason.
why waste such a preciousness?

i've wasted before.
mostly on others.
for myself, i cannot burden.
let my eyes stare forward.

10 more minutes