urge to swallow
this small yellow pill
knowing i'll be so tired
and struggled 30 hours from now
but
i'll live
i'll live more than you'll ever
just try to keep up
it's decided
hand me my glass
20160629
20130803
the emotional offs and ons
Been noticing this pattern. Quantization dominates the small. The yes’ and nos. The ons and offs. This is where emotion takes precedence. This is where emotion takes control. As we zoom outward, to look upon more of the picture, fluidity and connection reveal themselves. We study this through the lens of logic as if we can make true conclusions about the quantized building blocks.
20120601
this pulse
this pulse, a capturing rubato. stares into my own glistening stare
fragile, it continues
and then, i recall
reasons
swarms of insecurities, along
paths which block paths
at continuum
not even sleep rests this spell
alas, with chest pronounced, i am
here. a needed witness
sleep tomorrow
there is tomorrow
a place for rest.
20120512
thoughts while falling
as i slip over the smooth rocks, immediately it is far different.
as i fall downward, from the cliff i slipped from, my thoughts becomes unexpected.
i think about how annoyingly bright the sun is. too bright. oh well.
what will happen to my dry cleaning? those shirts are too nice to be donated.
it goes slowly.
only right before the contact with the ground below, thoughts of my relationships surfaced.
THIS was too much to bare.
i now saw the purpose. the mundane thoughts.
20120121
10 more minutes
within this limited time you will awaken and see me here,
you will wonder how i remain-
awake for so long
our eye contact will be brief
followed by your request for my retreat
why do i do this?
why do i continue to battle this?
perhaps i'm different.
this doesn't seem difficult
it feels like gold. it feels like strained gold.
no worries. soon enough i'll be sleeping.
forever.
as you will.
perhaps that is my reason.
why waste such a preciousness?
i've wasted before.
mostly on others.
for myself, i cannot burden.
let my eyes stare forward.
10 more minutes
you will wonder how i remain-
awake for so long
our eye contact will be brief
followed by your request for my retreat
why do i do this?
why do i continue to battle this?
perhaps i'm different.
this doesn't seem difficult
it feels like gold. it feels like strained gold.
no worries. soon enough i'll be sleeping.
forever.
as you will.
perhaps that is my reason.
why waste such a preciousness?
i've wasted before.
mostly on others.
for myself, i cannot burden.
let my eyes stare forward.
10 more minutes
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